two for one

Sharing a home is good for the environment. So say the researchers at Michigan State University. In a study that could be nominated for the Oh Really Awards, we learn that two people living together (in this case, also married), use far fewer resources than two people living apart. Chalk one more up to the benefits of living together. How good it is to have someone to come home, to warm up your bed, to share home-made soup with, to finish off the portion that is too big for you, to vent your frustrations to. People in our homes (as long as they are not threatening or hostile) extend our lives, care for us when we are sick, give us someone besides ourselves to worry and fuss over.

Living together is good for the soul, good for the pocketbook, good for the environment, good to banish loneliness, good for a laugh. Then why, since 2005, are half of American households made up of one person? In the 1950's, according to an editorial in today's Sun paper, 3/4 of all households were headed by married couples. Okay, even I - old-fashioned though I be - am less interested in arguing for the married part than I am rooting for the couple or shared living space part. Being alone is hard for most of us. And even though it has it pleasures of solitude and quiet and freedom in the short term, these can grow heavy in their abundance and relentlessness of living alone.

So why are we such private, alone people? Why do we so cherish or protect our privacy and yet yearn for the hubbub of third places and seek comfort in the company of the vast hordes of cyberspace? Do we not trust each other enough? Are we too self-indulgent? Too demanding? Too unsure?

I, for one, do not know. But I do hope that those who are planning our future pay attention. I hope that future architects and builders and city planners and community activists explore ways to build housing that can both bring people together, and give them their privacy; in ways that enrich their personal lives, and limit their footprint on this grand world of ours. Surely that is not too much to ask.